Christopher Pike Fan Club

So, I would imagine that Christopher Pike is enjoying the income generated by his newly renewed fame. On da flip side, he's been a hella private guy over the years. In order to accommodate his millions of new fans/old fans who totally forgot about him for a decade or two, there's a fantastic fan club site.

Click & see many excellent Mr. Pike facts, including a bio provided by answers.com, & a Q&A with many great details, such as:

* he's gonna sell out and write more Last Vampire stories! Money, money, money, money! MOOOONNNEYY!

* he likes Dexter (squeeeeee!!)

* he didn't write Seedling, the advertised sequel to The Cold One because he didn't have time. I like to think that I went back in time & changed the future by maybe beating him with a pipe wrench until he agreed to, like, not inflict that shit on paying customers.

* he wishes he could re-write The Grave, which I've been thankfully able to block from my cognitive memory. I had to re-read the post on that one for a refresher. It was delightful. Hence why my grade 8 yearbook blurb as chosen by my peers says that my hobby is laughing at my own jokes.

* there's a LINKS section, which I am dying to get into... maybe if I bought a proper domain? Or would he take a hit out on my ass?

Also, this exists:

For those of you who are like me & are "too busy" to click on videos, there's a teen girl getting ready for bed in the bathroom. Her zany underweared sleepwalking brother comes in with a knife. Other stuff happens for about 30 seconds. She goes to her room & reads the end of Remember Me & says, "Remember Me? Forget you!" and tosses the book aside. An actor playing Christopher Pike comes in and menaces her, then throws her out the window saying, "It's Christopher Pike, bitch!" and she's, like, dead on the pavement. So, that's a pretty bizarre ode to this guy.

So, what are you saying? Gonna join the fan club?

Thirsty for more Pike?

Apparently Last Vampire is cool again?

Yeah, I started noticing last summer that some of my Goodreads buds had this Thirst compilation on their to-read lists. An investigation seemed necessary. Are Twihards stooping to this old-ass hexalogy to fulfill their need for vampire novels aimed at teens? And if so, why didn't High School Musical renew any interest in Last Act, DAMMIT?!

What's totally annoying is that back in '08 I made a hexalogy of visits to used book stores looking for a copy of Red Dice. If I had known I could simply order it from Amazon in '09, I would have retroactively not went into that one shop that was a maze of book-stacks piled to the ceiling with the creepy shopkeeper who kept crowding me toward a tiny closet filled with canned goods at the back of the store.

So, um, I guess I have to mention the blogging coma? Or can we just forget about it? Maybe I'm here alone now... is anybody listening? Ohoh, no reply at all. Ok, I'm rocking Genesis lyrics from '81. You totally have to love me. Or hate me. Or forsake me. All valid options.

Maybe give me a few weeks to get my shizzle together & get back into it & we'll talk then?

I sheepishly peek back into Blogland...

Remember Me? The Return.... to blogging... at Like Pike!

It's been a while. So, jeez, The Midnight Club. That book could have been the book that derailed this entire project. If I wanted to read a book of Christopher Pike's short stories, I woulda read freakin' Tales of Terror #2.

You know, I would feel awful if I just put up a little inconsequential teaser post after all this time, so let's gab for a sec about something very important to me: celebrity look-alikes.

Remember back when the internet was first getting popular and people were starting to chat and ICQ with people in other parts of the world?

My male middle school classmates fell into a frenzy of chatting online with American girls. You know, "Gemini" from "Texas", and all that stuff. And every guy wanted to know what hot celebrity he looked like so he could tell the girl he was chatting with, and hopefully appear cooler than he actually was.

The answer, "You look like a combination of JTT, Andrew Keegan, and Pauly Shore's detox ID" is a little harsh, so I usually said nothing.

If myheritage.com had existed then, I may never have had a chance to bring up Pauly Shore on this blog. Naw, I didn't sell out; I just think it's a cool site. You can upload a picture of yourself and it matches your face with celebrity look-alikes. I guess there's a Facebook app that does it now too.

I tried it out a while ago with a family picture. My mom and my brother both had Peter Gallagher as the #1 match.

"OMG, Mom! You look like the dad on The OC!!!!"

Oy. And me, I'm a combo of Kristin Kreuk from Smallville, and British jazzy-type singer Jamie Cullum. But you know who my one true celebrity look-alike is? Mindy Cohn. Natalie from The Facts Of Life. Her face at age 13 is pretty much the same face I've had my entire life. Check it out; just add naturally curly hair:

Thanks for sticking with me, you guys, and I hope to be back to some sort of regular posting schedule from now until I finish the Pike catalogue.

This weekend come around for a double header of the ramblin'-esque posts that I'm sure everyone's been missing - featuring The Midnight Club on Saturday, and Tales of Terror #2 on Sunday. Does the Christmas pre-weekend get any better than that? See you then!

Google Hits: The Raunchy Remix

So, apparently this blog is raunch-tastic. Blame Christopher Pike, I guess. I mean, I'm not some pervy person trying to attract creeps to my blog. Certainly not! But it seems like whenever they hit me up Google-style, it's from a sexual search term.

Searches, Sexual

* Shena's sex tape

* massage hidden camera blogspot com

* locker room showering together

* There was even one - jeez, I probably shouldn't even... ehhhh, you guy(s) don't judge - that was like: "preteen erotic stories". I don't remember if that's it exactly, and my stats thingy doesn't save stuff for more than, like, five days, but it was creepy. Trust me, Like Pike does NOT want to be associated AT ALL with the kind of sites that you're gonna see in "preteen erotic stories" search results.

Also:

90s-Related Searches

* the 90s had no culture

* 90's pop bands.. backstreet boys, nsync, etc.

* song in the philippines 90's foreign songs

* 90's lame music

* embarresing pop culture of the 90's

* creative homemade backstreet boy t shirts

* backstreet boys bed sheets

Ok, question: is there REALLY so little written about Backstreet Boys on the internet that my freaking blog with one BSB-related post has to show up in the results? That's sad. It kinda makes me want to do a BSB blog side project and scan all my pin-ups and articles and, like, gossip about who's cutest in each pic! OMG! That would be sooooo aweso- ...actually, on second thought, who would be the target audience for a blog like that??... Ohhhhh. Only me.

And:

Oddities

* trapped in kitchen scavenger hunt movie

* falling into hell clip

* betty sue abortion
This could have been a legit Whisper of Death inquiry, but the person didn't stick around at all. I checked out the search, and I liked one of the other site descriptions that was like, "Get your abortion advice here, not from some Betty Sue down the street". I don't know why I like that, but I do.

I just thought this one was cute!

* in remember me 2: the return are peter and shari still together?


And, my fave:

* ya lit and scaffolding
What the hell was the desired result here? Like, a list of instances of scaffolding in young adult novels? Would that even ever exist? Too bizarre. I don't really consider the inclusion of scaffolding to be such a high point that I actively look for it in books.

Anyways, Thursday is Final Friends Book 1: The Party. OMG, it is sooooo not as awesome as I remembered. See ya!

The Anti-Pike II: More Stuff That I Read

The jeezly book is called Heads. After that, how can anything go right?

So, a neuroscientist, John, and Susan, his girlfriend/research assistant, have an enjoyable life together somewhere in possibly DC, or maybe just nearby.

John is mangled and burnt in a car crash. His prognosis is poor. Michael, a brain science researcher working on top secret shiz for the government, has been working on getting John to come work with him and share his research. John doesn't like the secrecy, and prefers to work alone.

Michael's work actually involves removing heads offa near-dead candidates in order to increase brain function from the standard 10%, which apparently is easy to do once heads don't have bodies to worry about.

Of course, Michael illegally enrolls critically injured John into the program so he can force him to continue his research. The deal is that you're listed as dead, buried, and only your head survives in this secret lab.

In addition, Michael convinces Susan to come work for him, to help sort out John's research as his head comes up with new stuff. She's not allowed into the wing with the heads, and has no idea what the project is all about or that John is still technically alive. Michael starts sleeping with Susan, natch, much to the chagrin of his business associate, Katherine, who is his girlfriend. But Susan is irresistible, what with her "slender, full-bosomed body" and her "long leggy casual look". Yeah, I know I can never look at long legs without thinking how appropriate they are for informal occasions.

There's a whole team of lab scientists, including Toni, an Asian-American (God, not "Asiatic" or "Oriental". I know this thing was published in '85, but wow, that seems out of date!) lesbian, and Al, a giant man who can imitate any voice. I swear, these people are only there to set up more horrible sex talk/fantasies. Ie: women's chests "thrusting" against their shirts (I can't lie, there's a lotta pump action in that area), "pubic contour" (whoa, sexy! that is such arousing language.... not), and "his buttocks like marble". Why do these authors always have to bring the marble buttocks into it???

Eventually Susan gets suspicious and steals a keycard to break into the heads area. She is shocked and disgusted by what she finds. John's head viciously taunts her, telling her to unzip his neck thingy and check out his stump if she really wants to be grossed out. But you know what though? I don't think Susan wants to be grossed out. That wasn't really her intention when she went in there.

Since this whole thing is government-sponsored, Susan is put under constant surveillance in case she wants to, you know, tell anyone about the heads. And, because she already knows what's up there, she's given access to see John and the other heads whenever she wants.

John is trying to find a way to break into the 1985 internet and post his research findings, and blow the whistle on what's going on in this hospital. He finds the password, and is too threatening, so the other doctors kill him.

With John gone, Susan is considered a loose cannon. The only thing to do is to remove her head so they can keep her intelligence and knowledge, and not have to worry about, like, anything else.

Susan sets a fire in the OR right before her decapitation, and escapes. She knocks out Katherine, Michael's lady friend, and steals her doctor duds so she can escape unnoticed. Al, the other doctor, comes upon Katherine's unconscious body and, deciding that he never really liked her, disguises her as Susan and makes Michael unknowingly decapitate his own girlfriend.

Yeah, that's the ending. I did read this start to fin, by the way. Now I need to, like, compost this thing so I never run across it again. Stay tuned for The Star Group on Thursday - it's the worst. I would friggin' kill the shit out of it... if I knew how. And start getting excited for Final Friends, coming up Halloween week.

The Anti-Pike: Other Stuff That I Read

Reading is educational.
Reading is fun.
Reading the following books
Just SHOULDN'T BE DONE!


An Original Sin by Nina Bangs. Bangs. And she writes raunchy romance novels. Strike one.

This thing turned up at my workplace book drive, which sent me on weeks-long mission to discover which of my co-workers was the donor and original owner of An Original Sin.

I made a list of suspect co-workers based on who I thought would most enjoy a story of the devil, bored, and in cat form, sending both a 1700s Scottish warrior-guy and a woman who lives in the year 2300 where men are extinct, to the year 2000 where they find conflict and romance as the devil cat stirs shit up between them.

I spoke to each suspect, telling them I had a great idea for a story I wanted to write, then I described the plot of An Original Sin. I waited for someone to say: "Hey, I already read a book with that plot. It's called An Original Sin by Nina Bangs. Actually, you might like it. There's an unwanted copy in the book drive box, if you want to check it out." I never found out who donated it, by the way. I feel that this person probably knows I only want to make fun of her and has taken steps to throw me off her trail.

So, I stole the book from the sale leftovers and keep it at my desk, where I sometimes hold random read-alouds from the text. It is bad. It's not even the fun kind of raunch-tastic bad. It's almost not even readable, mainly because all the guy's dialogue is written in a treacherous Scottish accent, which makes Ann M. Martin's Logan Bruno accent look competent.

Accent Example: "Ye could drain a man dry wi' only yer stare... If I dinna please ye, I might leave yer bed wi' my manhood a wee shriveled berry."

The whole book, guys, the WHOLE BOOK is like this! And this is me complaining! I say "yer"! (Recently I've been trying to stop talking like a hick. No more yer and fer... also trying to pronounce 'about' more Americanly (a-b-ow-t), rather than 'a-boat' - not aboot! NEVER aboot! - but it's hard to change stuff like that. I digress...).
Hey, check that cover close up! Ok, I have spent literally hours looking at this cover (the book's been propped up in the corner of my cubie since last March), and that guy is not sexy. He looks like a goofball and his kilt thingy looks like a blanket my grandmother used to keep in the trunk of her car.

The back cover tagline is: "MEN'S BODIES WERE HER BUSINESS." If that's not a line for daily usage about your ho-baggiest friends, I don't know what is.

This book is mad ridiculous. I'm sorry if Nina Bangs happens to be, like, someone's aunt or something. The girl character is from the future, like I said. Men are extinct, and her job is to build custom man models for the women of the future. Her most popular models are Stud-Muffin Stuart (not joking!) and (it gets worse!) Hot and Horny Hal. The guy character is an old-fashioned ass of the highest order.

Just to make it even more historically awesome, her name is Four-Two-N "Fortune" MacDonald. He is Leith Campbell. Lotta bad blood between those families. I guess I have to take this seriously now. Ok, it's pretty telling that I accidentally typed "not" instead of "now" like 3 times before my typing psyche would understand the sarcasm.

And not to make out that I've read the whole book, because I totally haven't. But I have researched it to the max. Obviously, there's such a thing as romance novel fans. Then you have your time travel romance fans. And, even more specifically, you have your time travel romance fans who like it best when both partners travel through time. And these fans feel VERY strongly about their preferences.

I was going to do two books, but I think I'll save the other one for next weekend. It's possibly even doozier (more of a doozy? you know what I mean) than this one.

It's time for well-wishes: Canadians, enjoy your Thankgiving. Americans, enjoy observing Columbus day. Other citizens, just have a good one doin' what yer doin'. I'm going home for the weekend to freeload turkey, pie, and whatever other baked goods I can get into me. Visit Like Pike on Thursday to get the scoop on Pike's The Immortal.

Why I Like Christopher Pike

Did you ever read the About the Author segment in the back of his books? I love how, like, among his favourite activities is stealth-rearranging bookstore shelves to put his own books in the best spot. That is awesome. Because if I were an author, you know that's what I'd be doing.


Not even to mention that it's the longest author bio I've ever seen. The previous jobs, the many New Age-y hobbies, the titles of every freaking single published work. This is verging on extreme. Like, do we really need the titles of every Last Vampire and Remember Me? For being such a mysterious guy who we know nothing about, he seems to be giving a lot away right here.


For the Spooksville series, he switched it up a little. Maybe he figured that little kids won't read an About the Author anyway, so he can pretty much say whatever the hell he wants. It is the most enigmatic and bizarre author bio I have ever read. It's the Legend of Christopher Pike.

"Little is known about Christopher Pike, although he is supposed to be a strange man. It is rumored that he was born in New York but grew up in Los Angeles. He has been seen in Santa Barbara lately, so he probably lives there now. But no one really knows what he looks like, or how old he really is. It is possible that he is not a real person, but an eccentric creature visiting from another world. When he is not writing, he sits and stares at the walls of his huge haunted house. A short, ugly troll wanders around him in the dark and whispers scary stories in his ear.

Christopher Pike is one of this planet's best selling authors of young adult fiction."

The troll muse from the story-within-the-story in Remember Me 2: The Return makes an appearance! That's kinda cheap, recycling it here. Unless it's true. It couldn't - you don't think - what if he... nah. Right???

And how about "staring at the walls of his huge haunted house"? These are his two options for activites: writing or staring at the wall like a psycho. And bringing up that his massive popularity is limited to "this planet"... so far. What a nutty guy. Or alien creature. That's a possibility too.

Fall Into Darkness ~MOVIE BONUS~

I figured everyone already knew about the Fall Into Darkness tv movie starring Jonathan Brandis and Tatyana Ali, so I didn't mention it in the book post.

Jonathan Brandis played Chad. Tatyana Ali played Sharon. The rest of the cast were knobs and ham & eggers who I have never heard of.

For your viewing pleasure, I present YouTube clips from the movie. They're pretty useless; the first one is 30 seconds, the second one is about 1:30.

The director's website has a 6-ish minute clip of Ann jumping, Sharon being arrested, and the police interrogating a bunch of people. You can check that out here. I will WARN YOU that my antivirus blocked 3 worm intrusion attempts while I was watching it, so only check it out if you are using protection / enjoy living on the edge.

On JonathanBrandis.org there are 4 downloadable clips from the movie. Clips #1 & #4 are the same as the youtube ones. I watched Clip #2 with no sound, but I'd guess it's Chad and Jerry doing stuff that didn't happen in the book.

I kinda wanted to see this... I even emailed someone with a Pike fansite to see if she would make me a copy. After looking at the flat-out fricking cheesiness of the second youtube vid, I want nothing to do with it. Has anyone seen this, and is it as fromage-tastic as it looks?

Which Christopher Pike Book Are You?

I woke up early this morning to do "research" and lookie what I found:
QUIZZES!!

Which Christopher Pike book are you?

What Christopher Pike book are you?

They don't make a hell of a lot of sense, but have fun!

My result:




Hahahahaha.

These just in...

For your future entertainment:

Yes, the cover art features an hourglass full of skulls:

Did you notice my nosy kitty on the left?? Man, I can't wait to read this one.

And my thanks go out to everyone who has commented to help me find the few titles I'm missing. Especially Kat: the Bookmooch hint was awesome. I'm just figuring out what I own that I can part with, and then Hollow Skull will be mine. MINE!!! Miiiiiine!! (unless someone else gets it first.)

Google-y Searchable

I've seen other blogs put together lists of Google searches that lead people to their site, so I thought I'd publicize mine, too. For most of these, I understand why that lead the Google searcher here, because I wrote all this shit and I know what it all says, I just think it's funny/weird/cute that someone was Googling that in the first place.

It makes me laugh that Like Pike is way easier to find on google.com than google.ca. In Canada, there are about a million fishing websites before you get to anything involving not fishing. And that is... sadly, exactly what I would expect.


- how to make a basement into the perfect slumber party room
I'm imagining a little outcast trying waaaay to hard to impress some of her school friends. My advice? Avoid Ouija boarding.

- fear street blogger beware
This cracked me up. My freakin' blogroll! Well, whoever's got awesome taste in blogs, hope s/he found what s/he was looking for.

- pictures of andy gibb in tight pants
I'll tell you where to find them if you tell me why you want them.

- slumber party tied up
Kinky!!!

- what do pike like
It's either fish or weird grammar.

- what was that film, where an alien women visits earth and uses a pool table to lay out her galaxy
Comma in a search term?

- upper frontals
On Match Game, Fannie Flagg, Marcia Wallace, and other #6 seat ladies always referred to breasts as "upper frontals". I checked this search and apparently upper frontals is only used regarding dinosaurs and prehistoric birds, which, like, don't even have breasts. I'm baffled.

- like a pop it on the street
Pop it like it's hot. / (condescending tone): "Did you mean to search for 'poppet'?"

- "get shot to death" actress
I didn't read about that on Perez.


Don't forget: Remember Me 2: The Return - Thursday on Like Pike! I want to be all scathe-wise, but I don't know how.

Pop Culture Confessions: Music of the '90s

So, the last few weekend editions of Pop Culture Confessions have been about lame stuff that I did. With this episode, I'm going to segue into lame stuff that I have. And I have a great transition for this that will encompass both.

Music of the 90s... where do I begin? The 90s sucked. I don't care what Rob Sheffield says, even though I adore him. Like, friggin' Michael Bolton was getting #1 hits. Musically, the 90s are most famous for the introduction or increased popularity of grunge, hip-hop, and rap, that minor swing revival, that minor disco revival (oy - remember the Grease Mega-Mix?), and bubblegum pop.¹

I wanna talk about bubblegum pop. That is where I lived. There is one specific act that was more than music to me. It was an obsession. Yes, I am talking about Backstreet Boys.

The reason I'm even bringing this up is because, as I'm sure nobody already knows, Backstreet Boys have reunited (minus one) and it feels so good that they're touring again. I saw them in concert 11 ½ years ago. And I will see them again... this weekend!

¹ This is all just my opinion, btw. I'm an enthusiast, not an expert. (Well, I am kind of an expert, but not one you'd cite or anything.)

So, there's the lame shit that I did/am gonna do again. For Part II, you might be asking yourself, "What kind of lame shit could someone possibly own relating to Backstreet Boys?" My answer: "Everything." I have it ALL:

VHS Tapes (Spot the one I home-made to win!):

CDs (and CD singles):

My concert T-shirt, which I'm debating wearing this weekend. Except I have really close seats and I don't want Howie D to see me looking like the 23 year old loser that I unfortunately am:

Newspaper Articles (and it doesn't get much worse than that):

My homemade scrapbook with every teen mag article about BSB clipped and glued to looseleaf:

Official Sticker Albums. And, yes, these are both entirely filled. I accomplished that by having my dad buy me a half box of sticker packets (like 75 packs, or something like that) for each album, which easily gave me all the ones I needed, plus a ton of doubles which I could then sell at school, 25¢ each, or 5 for $1. I made $16 one recess!

These sticker albums are the most embarrassing because a) they cost the most, and b) the stickers are positively hurtin'. There are shiny ones that say lame shit like "Backstreet Boys Are Cool!" and "Backstreet Boys: A Light In The Dark" with a burning candle. I was gonna include pics of those, but... uh, there was a glare.

And finally, among other stuff, a German-language cardboard stand up thing of Nick Carter:

I have articles and posters in French, Spanish, and German that I collected from foreign penpals who I befriended for the specific purpose of obtaining foreign Backstreet Boys stuff. I had a Swiss penpal who enjoyed Formula 1 car racing, so I sent her a Jacques Villeneuve cereal box. I had a Philippines penpal who loved the Moffatts and 98° (which are the most incomprehensible favourites. I did not find 98° pin-ups hard to part with.), so I would send her crap about them in exchange for anything Backstreet Boys.

I could go on (and on... and on... let's be honest: I suck, don't I?), but I'll limit myself to one anecdote (except I call them anec-don'ts). The backstory is that pretty much everyone in my house had BSB fever to a certain extent just from being around me. Not to mention, as you can tell by the newspaper articles, BSB were a huge deal in Nova Scotia for about a 2-3 year span and everyone in the province was at least knowledgeable about Backstreet Boys whether they wanted to be or not.

Circa 1999, a new guy started at my mom's work and she was introducing him around. His name was Rick Carter.

Mom: "Everyone, meet Nick Carter."
Rick: "Uh, it's Rick."
Mom: "Oh my God, quit playin' games with my name!!!"
The group of fieldhands (including old men, young men, scientologists, and alcoholics) deteriorate in laughter... because they all get it.

I also wanna add that the reason I know this is lame (because, obviously, I thought it was pretty cool) is because I invited every girly co-worker and cousin aged 20-30 that I have (yeah, no friends. I don't have those.) and they ALL made fun of me and wouldn't even accept a free Backstreet Boys reunion concert ticket.

Anyone else have any former psychotic obsessions like this? Maybe not to this extent. Milder, obviously, but similar??


So, that's that. We have a fake holiday here called Natal Day and I have Monday off work, so I'm taking off for the long weekend (after BSB, that is!!). Plus, my birthday is on Wednesday, so I think the Thursday book recap is gonna be late. I'll let you know. Have a good weekend, everybody (rock your body right cuz Backstreet's back all right!).

Pop Culture Confessions: Full House Edition (Plus More!)

A Few Things...

1) My First Full House Memory

Full House was a huge part of my life growing up. I remember the first time I ever watched it. Like, not the exact episode (I friggin' wish!), but the scenario. One Friday night in 1989, my mom was putting me to bed. Then, from downstairs - a beautiful sound! The Full House theme song! I asked what it was, and Mom told me it was a show called Full House, and that I could stay up to watch it if I wanted! From then on, I never missed an episode of Full House on TGIF. The move to Tuesdays in '91 ('92?) kinda killed it for me, so I stayed caught up with the syndicated episodes weeknights at 6 o'clock, 6:30 in Newfoundland (haha, li'l Canadian joke for East Coasters).

2) Backstory: A co-worker recently got married in an airplane, and then she and the groom parachuted to the ground. Our local newspaper did a story on it, but, upon googling the couples' names, I found that a lot of other newspapers had carried the story too. And not just in Canada (some American ones too!).

I mentioned what a big story it was to another co-worker, and this is what followed:

Her: "Why?"

Me: "I guess it's a big deal when people jump out of airplanes to get married."

Her: (staring silently)

Me: (babbling nervously) "Yeah, I thought it was common enough that it wouldn't be big news, but I guess maybe it's jumping out of a plane before you get married that's so popular. (pause) Like Uncle Jesse. (long pause) On Full House."

Her: (staring silently... 3... 2... 1... walks away, with no look of disgust or anything, just no possible way to relate to/answer me)

Me: "With the tomato truck??"


This is why I keep my gob shut, like, all the time. I can't say anything, ever, about any of the stuff I enjoy, or every conversation I have ends like that. There's so much stuff that's off limits for me. Like, if you enjoy one lame thing, that's ok. If you enjoy every lame thing, no one will ever forgive you. And by "you", I mean me.

3) My "Ways To Seem Normal" Reference Guide:

• don't talk to people about life lessons learned from Little House on the Prairie/confess to having childhood crush on Michael Landon
  
• don't use Peanuts comics to prove a point
  
• don't mention Breaker High (ever!)
  
• never list Billboard Hot 100 #1s by year/tell someone the #1 song on the day he or she was born... from memory
  
• Gummi Bears, Smurfs, and Stop the Smoggies are like Gummi - Don't you dare!, Go Smurf Yourself, and Stop (yourself before you say anything about) The Smoggies. (That last one was just like a Shania Twain song title. & by that, I mean that she often uses parentheses in her song titles. Beyond often. Obsessively. Actually, all punctuation. I think I saw a semi-colon once. Check it out if you don't believe me.)
  

So I'm pretty much a joke on wheels. Except the wheels part. I liked him on Degrassi, though. Even with the treacherous hairdo/embarrassingly tight jeans.

Also, it was great to see, from the reponses to my Sweet Valley ("Why, yes, I do talk to myself and live in an imaginary world, got a problem with it?") Confession, that I am not the only person who is this way/does stuff like this. Maybe I'm in the wrong line of blogging. Actually, I'm only wasting time with all this nonsense because there aren't extremely many Christopher Pike books to blog about.

A few recent comments have inspired me to put together a complete Pike book list, so I'll post that early next week.

Oh, and: if you don't have a favorite Christopher Pike book, may I suggest Remember Me? We can talk about it more on Thursday, if you wanna.

Pop Culture Confessions: Sweet Valley Edition

Sweet Valley Confession

When I was younger (circa. age 10), I wanted to be Lila Fowler. I mean, why not? She was rich, had a cool car, lots of boytoys, and one of the best snarky personalities ever.

Taking it slightly further, I used to pretend I was Lila. My bike was the lime green Triumph, which I would ride around the neighbourhood talking to myself as though I were giving a fictional entourage a tour of the estate.

I don't know if Fowler Crest had a vineyard, but I grew up next to a cornfield, which I referred to as "the vineyard".

After a few months of fantasy, I realized that I could never be Lila. But I could play her! In my mind, I was cast as Lila in the TV series, and I did imaginary interviews with the newsmedia on how awesome it was to have been chosen for the role. I acted out scenes, like, all the time. Particularly while walking home from the bus stop. My mom would catch me walking up the street talking to myself and make fun of me while I did my homework.

Anyone else ever do anything like this?

See you back here Thursday for Scavenger Hunt on Like Pike!

Pop Culture Confessions: Fear Street Edition

Fear Street Confession
(which I'm only telling you because I trust you to not bring it up all the time and make fun of me)

A sixth grade radio play assignment inspired me to make an audio recording of Fear Street: Ski Weekend. Using my mom's early 80s tape deck (with microphone!), I forced my cousin and my brother to help me.

I played Doug, Shannon, and Eva. My cousin played Red, Ariel, and Lou. My little brother did special effects; for example, dropping a marble into a Danish butter cookie tin to make a gunshot sound.

The recording process lasted about 2 months because we only had 2 hours a week to work on it. I treated it like we were on a major production schedule, and I made notes on the inside cover of my copy, which I still own and is still my favourite Fear Street book. (Bonus Within A Bonus: Rounding out my Top 3 Fear Street faves are Wrong Number & The New Year's Party.)

To me, the Ski Weekend recording was a masterpiece. I listened to the tapes before I went to bed at night. When completed, it was 10 one hour Maxell audio cassettes filled with friggin' nonsense. We wanted to do Pike's Weekend too, but there were too many characters. I threw the Ski Weekend tapes away when I moved out, because the adult me would clearly never want anyone to hear them. I call that action "the tragedy of my life".

Please use the comments to make your own confession, express solidarity, or heckle me.

The PIKErocosm REVEALED!

PIKErocosm (noun) - the world, as contained in, or described by the novels of Christopher Pike

During my recent studies, I have identified several characteristics, or "hallmarks", of the PIKErocosm.

Please note that this list is incomplete, and may also be used as a drinking game (one drink per instance) if you have a copy of a Christopher Pike novel, preferably published in the 1980s, and an adequate supply of alcohol on hand for your experiment. Each entry on the list is accompanied by the numerical percent chance it has of appearing in the previous five posted novels.

List of novels studied: Slumber Party, Chain Letter, Chain Letter 2, Gimme A Kiss, Weekend, Last Act (study incomplete)

Set in the 1980s - 100%
School plays - 33%
Banana splits - 33%
Revenge - 83%
Isolated dwellings - 67%
Cool telephone tricks - 33%
David Bowie - 33%
Watersports - 33%
Charades - 33%
Someone is drugged, or otherwise made unconscious, and wakes up in another location (two drinks if it's a basement) - 50%
Urine - 33%
Beer & homemade cookies - 33%
Exploding buildings - 33%
Rich person teaches a poor person a sport - 33%
Rich people with fancy cars - 50%
House fires - 50%

In addition, teenagers afflicted with disease or medical ailments can be found with a frequency rivaling Lurlene McDaniel. Burn victims, fake diabetes, arthroscopic knee surgery, cancer, kidney failure, diarrhea, paralysis. When we enter the 90s with future postings, my hypothesis is that plots involving the supernatural will become more frequent, as diseases and illnesses are mentioned fewer times.


A Note About Your Hostess Bonus
As youngsters, when we were mentally obsessed with Weekend, my friends and I called Flynn "Phlegm". I think it was because we assumed he would have a froggy Englishman voice like David Beckham or Ashley Peacock on Coronation Street.


Last Act soon!

Weekend ~BONUS~

Front Cover:
Saturday they worked on their tans. By Sunday they were working on staying alive.


Let's, for a minute, imagine that the tag line ended with "stayin' alive" and was actually a BeeGees reference.

Other BeeGees related taglines:

Saturday they worked on their tans. By Sunday they were suffering from Night Fever.

Saturday they worked on their tans. By Sunday they had experienced another Tragedy.

Saturday they worked on their tans. By Sunday "You Should Be Dancing" was stuck in Flynn's head when he fired his rifle at their feet.

Saturday they worked on their tans. By Sunday they were working on Jive Talkin' their way out of getting killed.


Sorry if I'm being very glib (Barry Gibb), and I know this is a huge risko (disco). I don't want to make myself seem lame to my pile of fans (Isle of Mann, BeeGees birthplace... am I taking this too far? I think I am.) Anyways, I hope you'll adore this (supposed to rhyme with Maurice... I'm bombing, aren't I?), and not leave me sobbin' (Robin) if you all decide never to return. That's enough of my night rant (tight pants... yeah, I apologize for that one.). I gotta get the hell outta here.


Stay tuned next week for possibly even more Weekend, a list of Hallmarks of the PIKErocosm, and an entry on Last Act.